Friday, October 05, 2007
That’s the last things I remember. Explosion, forgot to breath, heart wrenching pain, and then lightness. Ok well things went black but I felt light as a feather. I even remember the sensation of floating along like a bobber on water with the faint awareness of voices around me.
As sensations returned I found myself laying comfortably in the firm arms of a slowly plodding galka. The rocking rhythm of his heavy pace was soothing. I didn’t want to come back.
“She’s moving and groaning.” he reported.
Startled that I was making noises I didn’t intend I opened my eyes and looked up into the face of Gurok.
“Ah yes, defiantly awake now. How do you feel?” He stopped and all the sudden I was looking into nearly a dozen wide eyed faces and feeling a little embarrassed.
“What happened? Did something hit me?” I asked still a bit dazed.
“No, you fainted.” Kjarbo said with a warm smile.
“Again.” Jenjen added looking rather cross and clearly distraught by worry but not over me.
“Been out long?” I asked.
“Nope, less than a minute. Didn’t want to wait for more cave-ins so I decided to help you move along.” Gurok said as he started to walk again. His arms were as big around as my waist and he made me feel so protected.
“Can we hurry? I’m worried about Beldin. I need to pray to Altana to return him to me.” Jenjen said with tears still running down her reddened face. “I’m so worried she’ll keep him.”
“We really need a black mage in this linkshell. I hate walking.” Martin grumbled as he continued on.
Gurok seemed happy to carry me and I was happy to let him for a minute longer. I’m not sure what I expected to feel after killing Pete the Meat but I had hoped it would be more than this and I was worried about Beldin now on top of the baggage I was already packing around. What if I had lost a dear friend over this only to make things worse? After my vengeful battle meant to end it all I still felt sad. Immensely painfully sad. Like my chest might implode at any moment from the deep emptiness left without him and it made it hard to breath if I thought too much about it.
I rested my hand gently over my abdomen and my head over Gurok’s heart. I hadn’t told anyone yet. Barely confirmed by Moogle I had a hard time believing an impossible miracle myself. I had never heard of such a thing happening and I figured people would call me a liar and think me insane. The second part I think I would have a hard time debating with lately but I didn’t care. A child was on the way and I knew who the father was even if no one believed me.
I knew I would have to slow down for awhile and it actually sounded like kind of a nice idea. My pursuit of riches had cost me too much. A quiet life with me and our child had a nice feeling to it. It made it seem as if he was watching over my shoulder not so far away as I caressed the blessing he was forced to leave behind.
Thinking of her I had to smile. Knowing she was coming lit my soul and chased away the pain that had consumed me. That day I named my child Hope. I had no idea at that time just how fitting a name it would be for her. Not just for me but for everyone.