Sunday, December 10, 2006
The Great Escape
So what do you do when you feel like you want to drive your dagger into your brain to make the screaming stop? Between Ubaro then Brodie my life was starting to feel a bit too much like some bad opera without the lovely music and I really felt like I needed to stop it now before I did something drastic like burry my linkpearls and take up Beastmaster to hide away from the people who were very successfully stealing my sanity.
I really consider myself a people person. Not that I love being around lots of people but I love to love people. Does that make sense? I don’t know. I didn’t want them all to go away completely I just needed a rest for an unforeseeable amount of time.
I woke up one morning about at my wits end and realized if I didn’t take a break I was going to do something I’m sure I would eventually deeply regret. I took off all linkshells for the first time since I had started ThumbMonkeys and walked to the chocobo stables with a long determined stride. I had a chocobo I hand raised that I stabled there named Miss Momo. She was a gentle natured animal. Not exceptional in any way but mine all the same.
A good ride really does wonderful things for my spirit. I feel a deep connection with chocobo that is hard to explain to someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Being nuzzled by a cooing chocobo heals me like no magic can. If there is such a thing as reincarnation I believe I was once a chocobo. Maybe that is why I feel so compelled to be with them.
I found Momo out in her stall already done with her daily duties. I felt better just seeing her. Walking up to her I whispered the sweet nothings I always do as she searched me for the carrot she knew I always brought. I had to laugh at her predictability. I gave her the treat and she gobbled it in one great mouthful and let out a loud chirp. It was time to go.
My armor felt like a suffocating corset. Not that thief armor is ever very restrictive or uncomfortable in the tactile sense but stripping it away felt like I was leaving all the aggravation behind. I had not worn my street clothes out in public for a long time and it felt good to feel like a common unnoticed again.
I tied a blue ribbon around Momo’s bridle and buckled it around her neck. She shook her head in anticipation knowing it was time to race off to some adventure together. Glancing over at the saddle slung over the rail next to us I decided against it. Kicking off my boots into the straw I vaulted onto Momo’s downy back and clucked at her to go.
She lunged forward through the barn as I ducked down low against her back to avoid the low rafters of the barn until we were in the tunnel and out into West Ronfaure.
It felt like I was racing from the things that haunted my dreams as of late and I urged Momo to hurry. An irrational fear in the back of mind nagged that if I didn’t press onward as fast as we could they would somehow catch us and spoil our ecstasy of freedom. I started to get the rhythm of her tremendously powerful two beat stride and was able to loosen the hold I had on her feathers and feel like I was unified with her sharing her gift.
In one last release I untied my hair and let the twine blow away behind us. I was free to run. The wind tossed my short red hair and brushed softly on my face. It was a perfect sunny day and all felt right with the world again.