Raining. Always with fricken rain around here. I felt so numb and lifeless. I just sat there letting the drops make waterfalls down my hair and into my eyes, staring blankly ahead wallowing in the shock of what I had seen and wondering where I went wrong.
I couldn’t remember how I got there or why I came. This place seemed to pull me here. It’s always murky and full of despair. Funny how this place had come full circle. My first visit to Pashhow Marshlands I nearly died only to be saved by my white knight and now the place that was a fond memory of a sweet beginning was sucking me in again to draw me deep in despair over an unexpected end.
He was meant to be MY white knight. For months we were inseparable. Every moment that we could we were either together or talking about being together. I don’t know how this happened. I really thought he was “the one.” You know, the one I get to bring home to Mom as her son-in-law. But now that was never going to happen.
As I thought about it tears blended into the rain and rolled down my cheeks. The image of him with her felt like a dagger in my chest stealing my breath and breaking my heart. Even in the betrayal I admit that I wished he would ride up on his chocobo again and wipe the mud and tears off my face.
I had already confronted him with the photograph of him holding and kissing her. He said he thought we were only friends. He didn’t mean to upset me. I don’t know how we could be so different in our feelings. I guess it was my fault. I wasn’t clear somehow. Or was it his fault for not realizing that I not only felt we were a couple, I wanted to marry him? How could he not know?
I reached into my bag and rubbed the soft peddles of the flower necklace between my fingers. It didn’t seem that long ago but it had been months since that sweet sunset on the beach.
Rebornsoul was a Hume. Maybe I had been fooling myself to think a Hume could love an Elvaan. We couldn’t even have children and he always seemed like a family man. Thinking he wanted a future with me was foolish.
When I told him I couldn’t be friends he just looked at me in shock. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t beg me to change my mind. He didn’t ask me why. Just nothing. I think nothing was the most painful thing he could have done. When you don’t care anymore nothing is the easiest thing to do.
Brodie was my white knight. What was I supposed to do without him?
11 comments:
I almost feel bad about going from one sobb story to another. I'm a happy person I swear! >.<
*chuckles* We know you're a happy person, er, I know at least. Still, it's a good entry, and it makes for good storytelling. *nod* Love it!
Alex
Oh no...
Good storytelling, yes, but sad all the same.
Makes me want to know more of the story (I just love a sad story, for some weird reason or another). It's a shame that things had to be that way, but I hope you can still be friends. Time heals all wounds.
*whispers* It's a Korean TV show in disguise, really. Geez, if I had to count the number of pictures of people holding and kissing...sheesh. But I suppose that would be a double standard to compare my Red Mageness to that of a Paladin, eh? You women seem to expect them to be all loyal and knightly or something like that. Read: loyal TO YOU.
Means to them: Hide things from you.
Understand: Lies to you.
Go Paladins...We Red Mages on the other hand, will tell you this to your face, and you will accept this just because we're damn wonderful, and capable of chainspell Cure 4 - Escaping you out of trouble in an instant. Your Paladin friend can not only provoke the monster, he can die for you. ... And then ask you to come back and raise him.
Red Mage ftw!
lol Guankim thank you for a nice big laugh on a crappy day. I love you now. This is why I love a good RDM around. And I would love some chocolate, thank you! Wow who are you and will you marry me?
Ahhh, but it would be doomed to heartbreak, chere. It's cold and windy over in the world of Garuda, and all chocolate hearts in the world won't keep you warm...Hmmm
I suppose a quick Fire spell on all that lumber that I can't be arsed to woodwork might do the trick, eh Come on over and visit sometime if you like, then I won't have to figure out that cross-server delivery, and can {Trade} then. ^^
However, there is a flaw in your plan. {Red Mage} {Marriage} {What?} {/huh} xD Luv ya too, keep up the great writings, and I'll add your name to the list of 'when you decide to settle down' offers somewhere in that pile of paperwork, hehe!
(Getting in a habit of long posts here, haha!)
LOL... Sure you're a happy person. But seriously, that is sad. What's worse is that I know rebornsoul too. I think I met her as a friend of a friend. Not close enough to get on my friend's list, but somewhat I would wave to when I saw her. Funny, I can't even remember when I met her, nor can I remember the name of the guy she is with almost every time I see her. For some reason, I do not think it is Brodie...
And lol Guankim... FYI, I am a Paladin, but I am very honest. And to top it all off, my wife (IRL) is a Red Mage! HA! XD
By the way: Why can't an Elvaan have children with a Hume? I could swear there was some interacial NPC couples or couples I saw during mission or quests cutscenes or something... Interesting idea, either way.
Interacial couples are oh so common but I have yet to see any resulting children. I am actually planning on going somewhere very interesting with that next year. It's been simmering since I desided to try this blogging stuff. I hope you enjoy it when it's ready to be served.
Sad, sad, sad. A theifs life is so sad. I think I like this blog.
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