A New Home

 

I inspected myself in the reflection of a still lake and wondered what he saw. He had fallen in love with a tall Elvann with dramatic red hair, strong slender limbs and a fearless bravado.

 

I was examining a Miqo’te, Keeper of the Moon, who was small, even for her race. Unremarkable light sandy brown hair framed large, mismatched eyes and fell loose around shoulders devoid of braids or ornament. One eye blue, one green, was largely unnoticed as most people didn’t look that closely at me. Pale skin, begged to blend in with white streaks, like fog creeping across my downy feline skin. My face was marred on one cheek by a long scar, acquired early in my new life.

 

He loved a voice belonging to a ghost. That woman was gone, lost in a world that wasn’t coming back. Could I keep him? Could I go back to being solitary if he left after longing to find him for so many years? I had hinged so much of my peace on finding him.

 

“Almost there.” He flashed a toothy forced smile at me and slipped his hand around mine. “Ready?”

 

I peered up and studied his face. Was he nervous too?

 

I had gotten lost in my own head and he caught me staring blankly into the water, but getting a little sidetracked by a beautiful view was nothing new for me, and he didn’t question it, but I wondered if he too was growing annoyed. Ragenarrok wouldn’t be alone if he grew tired of my distracted behavior. I let out a little shiver and walked on.

 

We soon entered a neighborhood full of large well-manicured homes nestled between tall snow-dusted evergreens. The air smelled fresh and crisp with a chill breeze that lifted my hair. He led me on, hand and hand, until we stopped in front of our destination. Looking down at me with a wide genuine smile and bright eyes he told me we had arrived. Excitement to introduce me to his friends made him almost bubbly and I couldn’t help but smile to see him so happy.

 

As we stood at the gate I craned my neck up at the big house. A warm pink glow from the setting sun made this place look magical and I could smell a hearth fire burning.

 

We had walked and talked the long distance all day by foot and now we were here. I squeezed his callous hand, a bit nervous about making a good first impression with his friends, which is not something I did well lately. My tendency towards isolation and wandering had made me reserved and inward in a way that was off-putting to most.

 

The front door burst open and a tall beautiful Viera woman came out with long strides and open arms. “Rage! You’re finally here!”  She hugged him and captured my hand. “He’s talked about you for years. He told us you were coming and I have waited absolutely forever to meet you. I’m Kelma and I’m so glad you’re here. I was starting to worry that Grumpy Pants had finally lost his mind and was seeing ghosts, but here you are!”

 

“Hello Kelma, I’m Luna.” I said with wide eyes as I took her energy in and embraced an enthusiastic hug, warm cheek to mine. Her clothes were gorgeous, not a hair was out of place and she moved with incredible grace for someone so tall.

 

Kelma froze for a moment, still holding my shoulders. “OH! Oooh. oh… hello.” She looked a little confused and looked at Rage over my shoulder as she held me.

 

“It’s her reborn name.” he explained.

 

Kelma visibly exhaled with a steamy cloud of breath into the chilly air. “Oh, thank Gods. I thought I was mistaken about who was coming to dinner.”

 

“Im so sorry, you can call me either name” I said as she let me go and took in my face. They are both me.

 

“You say Luna and I love it. Come inside. The boys are waiting, and I heard you like hot cocoa. They said it would be rude to rush you, but I said that’s nonsense.”

 

Kelma took me by the arm and led me inside to the main foyer. The room was huge and the ceilings high enough for even for the tallest person to stretch without coming near it. Staircases lead upstairs and down.

 

I spent the next few hours meeting everyone who could join the party that night. Laughter was plentiful and food abundant and delicious. Some of the most skilled and talented people I had ever met were part of this family and I found it easy to relax and enjoy the company in the warm comfortable home. I hoped this was the start of something beautiful and I strained to keep up with conversations and memorize names to faces.

 

Ragenarrok carried me to bed when I dozed off in the late hours to the cheerful chatter of my new friends discussing the latest fashion trend and rare crafting materials. I woke as he lifted, but just smiled comfortably and rolled my face to the warmth of his chest, taking in his new smell. He laid me down on a bed in his private chambers at the free company house and not long after I curled up on my side and bundled a lump of blankets against my chest, I was asleep again. Exhaustion from an emotional day combined with the security of knowing I was under the care of his watchful eye made sleep come easy.

 

When I woke, it was still dark through the window, but a single scented oil lamp was lit to cast a bit of light over Ragenarrok and added the pleasant fragrance of spices and orange peel. I could hear quill to paper scratching away before I opened my eyes. Rage was sitting on a cushion on the floor near the bed enthralled in a notebook. His back was resting on the wall, his body angled towards the door, as if he was anticipating company. The clock said nearly 3am.

 

I watched him awhile before he looked up and saw me watching him. I smiled as he met my eyes. “Trouble sleeping?” I asked. I felt a little guilty realizing he might not be sleeping because he had given his bed to me.

 

“I always have trouble sleeping.” He said in a hushed voice and smiled softly. “Need anything?”

 

“Never again.” I stretched my legs out and flexed my toes before putting feet to the chilly wood floor to take the two short steps to him. “I have you back.”

 

He set the notebook and quill down and reached an arm up to receive me, knowing I was about to occupy his lap. “What are you writing.”

 

“Tonight, it’s my daily record. It helps me relax to write. Sometimes its notes about crafting or planning a quest, but every once in a while, it’s just a fictional story.”

 

“Can you read it to me?”

 

“Not ready yet,” he smiled sliding the notebook under a cabinet as my eyes followed it.

 

My eyes went back to his, “Why do they call you Rage?”

 

“Short for my registered adventurer name.”

 

I raised my eyebrows in doubt.

 

“Kelma says I can sometimes get a little angry. I suppose I do get impatient.” He paused and glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Possibly short tempered. I just want to get things done right.” His mouth then tightened and I was worried about my mighty guardian.

 

I had always been the one to help him slow down when his mind started moving too fast. My heart sank. He looked so composed yesterday that I thought I had been the only one a mess and he had carried on fine without me, but I could see tired creases in his face now that told a different reality.

 

I laid my cheek to his chest and listened to his strong heart. His arms came around me tighter and his face rested on the top of my head. I felt a tear hit the crown of my head, though it was the only indication that his emotions were spilling over.

 

“I didn’t give up, but I was beginning to wonder if I was somehow being punished or had failed to protect you and you were lost to me. It was hard not to imagine the worst. I got angry. Breaking things that needed breaking helped vent it, but the hole in me where you used to be wouldn’t heal.”

 

Wrapping my arms around his ribs, I held and felt his deep breaths. “I’m here now as long as you want me to stay, and even then, much longer to be sure. I want to hear about everything that’s happened since before.”

 

“That is too long a story for tonight and you should be asleep.”

 

I let the silence hang in the air awhile as I thought about everything like an end-of-life flashback. Ragenarrok was slowly stroking my back, head still resting lightly on mine as I felt his slow deep breaths. Pondering what he was thinking, I made guesses in vain before sighing deeply and giving up.

 

“Sleep next to me?” I asked timidly.

 

“As you wish.” He said before he bundled me back up in his arms and stood to carry me to bed.

 

By the time we fell into a deep asleep, the warm morning light was starting to glow at the frosty window, but it arrived unnoticed. Exhaustion from the last 24 hours had caught up to us and we would not be stirred.

 

Ragenarrok held me close to his chest as if he was afraid to close his eyes unless he knew I would still be there when he woke. I was content encircled in his radiating warmth and at peace, feeling safer than I had since I had arrived in this body.

 

I had always asked him to be the rock to my rapids and I was determined that this time, I would be the strength for him that he had always been for me. How I would do that was a question for another day.

Realm Reborn FFXIV

(An imagining of the transition from Final Fantasy XI to Final Fantasy XIV)

The world was reborn, and so were we.

 

The gods, in their wisdom, had collapsed existence and in one great clap of energy, reformed everything at once. Or so it was said.

 

What resulted was confusion. In my core, I remembered an image of myself, but when I looked at my reflection, the tall, slender, confident Elvann was replaced by someone small, cat-like, Miqo’te and feral.

 

The world was different too, but familiar. Water, sky, plants and earth. Buildings filled the cities with the appearance of being there for centuries. It was a ready-made habitat for the pets of the gods, or so it felt to me. Most adapted cheerfully. Some didn’t seem to even notice. I remembered and mourned.

 

Everyone had a new appearance, some more so than others. Cid was still identifiable as Cid and his same self at the core. Some, like me, were unidentifiable as the woman I had been before, except for my voice. It was still mine and rang familiar in my new furry ears.

 

I couldn’t find my friends after the rebirth. The loss was crushing and changed me. I made new friends, but they came and went. I’d become distant and distracted; trapped by the past.

 

I came to be renamed. One mischievous Hyur named Thancred said I was his light in the night and called me Luna. I spent years adventuring with him as his healer. His enthusiasm and kindness towards me drew me like a moth to light and he didn’t mind my catlike wariness. He understood pain and didn’t fault me for it. We were both thieves at one time and felt a kind of kinship. I didn’t feel like my old self anymore, so I took this nickname as my new name. Even after we went separate ways and saw each other infrequently, the name became part of my new identity.

 

I refined the art of healing that I started before the rebirth. It felt natural and right. Each time I healed pain, it felt like I was pulling my pieces back together with a force like gravity, even if only for a short time. I admit it felt a little selfishly motivated, but it gave me a way to fit into this new world as a registered adventurer.

 

I started crafting for the income I needed to purchase what I wanted. I still couldn’t cook much more than the basics, but I found that I enjoyed carpentry, metalwork, sewing and lapidary. Gathering materials was something I could do solo, without the need of a companion, and allowed me time to think and enjoy the echoes of my assault against this new world. My little protest to change by chipping away at this place and felling the trees, one at a time, venting my frustration.

 

My inability to cook for myself is what brought me to a food vender the day everything changed. I was ordering when I froze. Then my ear twitched and my hair stood on end. I listened again without turning. My hands on the counter held my knees from buckling.

 

“Alison?” I heard again.

 

I didn’t move at first. That wasn’t my name anymore. I was processing and preparing myself to turn and look, preparing myself to appear casual when I inevitably spun around and found nothing, but I thought I heard Gurok calling my abandoned name.

 

I had searched for him for years, never stopped, but to be honest, I had stopped breaking myself over the hope, after a decade of scanning crowds and wandering in the woods, that I might see him looking back at me.

 

I steeled myself and peered over my shoulder as casually as I could muster for fear that I was imagining the voice. I had to crane my neck up to meet his gaze. Lavender eyes were scrutinizing my face; Alison wasn’t there to be seen. His eyes were electric, luminous and a bit terrifying. I was looking into the face of one of the Xaela Au Ra, speculated to be half dragons. They had come about with the rebirth. He was impossibly tall, dark as coal and horned.

 

He stood a bit back, likely aware of how his appearance made people feel or maybe a bit apprehensive himself. He spoke again, “I heard you talking, I know your voice.”

 

“I know you too.” My voice quivered. The world spun and I sprung up to hug around his neck. I had to wrap my legs and tail around his waist because my feet couldn’t reach the ground even as he stooped to catch me. I took quick gasp and a sob shook my body before I trapped it back in and held my breath. My tears wet my face and ran down my neck.

 

I became quickly aware how he radiated the unusually high heat of his race. He smelled wrong. Gurok was coal, seasoned leather and iron. This body smelled delicious, but was a stranger to me. I squeezed my eyes shut against his unfamiliar appearance because he sounded like a miracle and I didn’t want to lose this feeling. He found me. His leathery arms held tightly around me like he had no intention of losing me ever again.

 

“Please, say anything.” My plea was muffled into his neck as I held tight enough to cramp my muscles. I wanted to hear it again and know that he was really in there.

 

“I’ve been looking for you.” He said.

 

I let out a short hysterical laugh. “Me too.”

 

I was becoming aware that the market had gone quiet and everyone had stopped to watch the drama unfold. I know I was not the only one who had lost people and a tear running down the face of a smiling woman nearby let me know she understood.

 

“I have friends that I want you to meet. They’ve heard a lot about you. Come home with me?” He offered. “We can talk. Are you still hungry? I can cook.”

 

Home. I hadn’t stopped moving long enough to have a home here. I had a favorite hotel room, but I never stayed there long.

 

I released my legs and slid down to the ground as silent as a cat. I stared up at this strange new face and reached up with one hand to touch his cheek, as if I needed confirmation that he wasn’t a hallucination. The other hand held tightly to his arm so not to lose him again. I noted black scales.

 

His hands hadn’t left my body either, as if he shared my anxiety about losing track of me again. He was bending over to allow my examination with a crooked grin on his face. How was he so composed?

 

 “It’s nice to be touched.” He whispered. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“What an understatement!” my mind screamed. My fingers locked together around his burning forearm and I took a breath. “I go where you go.” I declared with resolve.

 

An involuntary purr escaped from my chest and I blushed. He didn’t mention it, but his eyes said he noticed.

 

“As you wish.” He smiled warmly down at me.

 

My Gurok wiped my wet cheeks, put his hand over mine and we walked.

 

Soon we were out of the city and alone on a dirt path, away from the curious looks.

 

“Where have you been?” I blurted.

 

He didn’t break stride, but smiled. “Everywhere.”

 

I don’t know what I expected to hear him say, but this sounded true to the man I remembered.  Always busy, always battling, always working hard to be the best at whatever he put his mind to. Maybe it was fitting that he was put into a body with a fire reflective of his personality.  

 

I myself was more chaotic, like water. Easily distracted, curious about everything and willing to sit and wonder about the secret conversations between flowers. We had more differences than similarities, but I had been half myself without him.

 

“And you?” he prompted.

 

“Nowhere.” I said as I looked away from him and into the trees. I had not stayed focused. I had not found a purpose. I was embarrassed to present myself to him as the nomad I had become. “And everywhere.” I added.

 

He chuckled. Maybe I was being too dramatic again.

 

What was I supposed to say after a decade apart, new lives and new bodies? Who was I? Who was he? What if I had anticipated all this time just to find out we weren’t a team anymore? He had found a family and I couldn’t keep a friend for long. He might not like the person I had become.

 

I suddenly remembered a dragonfly hunt we enjoyed in the last days and I smiled. Oh, please, let it be okay. My grip was getting tighter on his arm with my silent prayer and my fingertips were turning white from the pressure.

 

“Time to rest.” He announced. He had led me to the edge of a cliff looking down into a green lush valley. A steady soft breeze blew across the mossy rocks. He sat under a wide old tree and opened a sack, producing a package of smoked fish and an orange, which he handed to me.

 

I sat in the shade next to him and accepted the offering. My stomach growled. I hadn’t finished my order this morning when this all started and had forgotten about food until it was presented to me.

 

“I don’t bite.” He said with his head bowed as he tore a mouthful of a roast sandwich. He kept his lavender eyes down as if he was trying not to spook a scared animal.

 

I was crouched a respectable distance away. I remembered sitting on the lap of a giant white hulk named Gurok a lifetime ago. It was my favorite place to be, but this was not the image I remembered.

 

“I do.” I muttered. I had developed more fight and bite over the years and I ran my tongue over my pointed teeth as I thought and remembered.

 

He looked up and smiled. “I don’t mind. Thick hide.”

 

I couldn’t help but smile in return and relax a bit at the familiarity of his humor. I rolled over and let my shoulder lean up against his. Then, I scooted over and leaned my back to him as I finished the orange. I enjoyed his radiant warmth. I felt safer for having him here again. Maybe it was time to let go and find a new self. Wasn’t this what I had been waiting for?

 

We finished lunch and sat there awhile and I enjoyed the feeling of his breathing behind me. Timidly, I rose to a knee and he lifted his arm, inviting me to him. I accepted and rolled down onto his cross-legged lap as his arms caught me into a cocoon of dark scales and black armor. It was not the same and for a moment, I was unsure.

 

He started talking and that was the same. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the music of his voice. He told me about the people I would meet tonight, if I wanted to. Each of his friends by name and what they were like.  He went on about the big house they shared and the plans for renovation. He talked about upcoming quests and the part I could play.

 

We had walked the whole way, when we could have traveled much faster by flying or teleport, but I understood the wisdom.  I had been spooked, but the more I heard that familiar voice, the more I was returning to myself and trust was filing me with confidence. He knew me so well. Maybe I hadn’t changed as much as I thought.

 

A new chapter was beginning with him. Hope stirred to life. A new dawn was rising, and I was ready because I finally felt whole again. My rebirth was complete and I was ready to live.

I'm playing Final Fantasy FFXIV now as Luna Menderkitty.  I've taken up the softer life of a healer. If you want to join me, post contact info here.  I'd tell you what server I'm on, but I think it's going to change soon since I seem to be the last one in my current free company and I need socialization!  Thank you Alvin for the cookie donation.  I contributed those funds to the local Girl Scouts and am munching thin mints as I type.  You rock.

Farwell for Brodie

"I love him."

"I know! He's delicious." JenJen purred.

"I need him. I couldn't breath if I lost him." I groaned.

"You're silly." She smiled. "Marry him. You know you will."

"Why am I making this a big deal?" I was crying as JenJen flicked her mithra tail anxiously and petted my head.

"You'll be fine. You just need to let yourself be happy without punishing yourself with this girl stuff. It doesn't do anyone any good." Zerokb added as he nibbled some grapes near me. "I don't know why woman have to make such a big deal out of everything."

"Marriage is forever. This is a big deal." I insisted. "I'm talking about the rest of my life and with a Galka and my first husband was a hume. Why can't I fall in love with my own species like a normal Elvaan woman?"

"My brother Kjarbo would have you. We would be sisters!" Jenjen grinned. "l'll be happy to take Gurok off your paws. I can't believe he makes you breakfast every day. It's super cute."

Kjarbo was her brother by adoption and a good honest man. He would make a perfect husband for some lucky girl someday.

"I'm delicious too you know!" Zerokb complained and tugged Jenjen's tail.

She jumped up, pushing me over and launched herself at Zerokb. They rolled across the floor in a storm of laughter and tickling. I couldn't help but smile and relax my mood. He was so crazy about her. I wondered if they might be the next annoyingly cute couple in my linkshell.

"Crazy crying girl over here needing consoling." I announced with a wet flushed faced smile.

"You need medication." Zerokb teased.

They both ran at me and I stood to get away. Tackling me before I could get very far, we all bounced against my bed laughing. I hugged them both. "You two are the best. I'd share my cookies with you any day."

"You have boobs." Zerokb informed me while we all hugged.

I smacked him playfully and sat up. "I cannot believe you some days Zerokb. You are definitely strange enough to be a dancer."

"Yes, but why are you really going crazy over marrying Gurok?" He asked, distracting me from his strange attempt to lighten my mood before bringing me back down. "Do you have another man on the side? Need to keep the options open? Don't want to upset the other boyfriends? Secretly in love with me? You can tell me."

"Stop that!" I complained and paused. "The only other isn't alive anymore and yes, I want him back and yes, he's on my mind and in my dreams and haunting me. I see his form in the corner of my eye when I wake up in the morning and sleepily forget he's not there. I see a man from behind in heavy white armor and it makes my heart hurt wishing he would turn around and be my Brodie. I still have another man in my life. What if Gurok doesn't want to share me with him?"

"He already has for a long time." Zerokb said somberly. "He knows. He loves you anyways. He tries to understand. I can see it. For all his faults, he's not going to hold that against you."

"Mood killer." Jenjen said with big wet eyes.

"You know, we never had a proper funeral for Brodie. You weren't ready to accept that he might not have somehow survived. Maybe it's time." Zerobk suggested.

I hadn't even considered it, part of my reluctance to let go I suppose. No one would push me into it so I didn't. Now it felt right. To move on to the next chapter in my life, I needed to finally close the one past. Not to forget or abandon, but to open myself up to the life I still had to live.

I nodded. "Yes. Tomorrow as the sun is setting on the beach. Will you spread the word for anyone who might want to come so I can focus on the eulogy?"

They both agreed and excused themselves for rushed preparations. Some people would have to travel a long way, so they needed to start right away.

Running the entire way, I was winded when I found Gurok and threw myself on him.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking concerned.

"I need your help. I want to have a funeral for Brodie tomorrow. I want you to get a lot of cookies and drinks for me. Can you?" I looked up at him while I clung.

He kissed my head. "Ofcourse. It's been so long, I didn't think you wanted to ever have one. This is a good idea." He nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. "Anything else you want me to do? I can bring you dinner tonight."

"Dinner would be perfect." I smiled. I adored him.

Belly down on my bed, I wrote while I kicked my bare feet behind me. I hadn't been to many funerals, so I didn't feel confident that I knew how to write a eulogy, but I knew whatever I did would help bring peace and that was what was important.

Knocking on my door startled me awake from a dream of sitting silently on the beach with Brodie on one side of me and Gurok on the other peacefully watching the sunset together. "Come in." I called, trying not to sound like I had fallen asleep.

Gurok lumbered in with a bag full of groceries and a smile. "I'm guessing you haven't eaten anything but cookies all day so I brought hardy muscle building food." He didn't wait to go straight for the table to start preparing food and I wondered if he felt at all uncomfortable with this all.

I came at him and he lifted his arm to pull me in close to him. "I glad you're here." I smiled.

He kissed me and stroked my face with his thumb. "I can't ask you to marry me when I said I would."

My mouth sprung open to protest and he moved his finger over my lips. "Let me finish." He smiled. "I still think we are made for each other and I will ask you to marry me, but I see now that you need to be the one to let me know when you're ready to be asked. I didn't mean to upset you and I only gave you the two days because I thought it was the surprise that made your head spin. I thought that if you knew when to expect it wouldn't make you feel panicked." He lifted his finger and kissed my lips.

"I love you." I said.

"I know." He said with a grin. Gurok squeezed me playfully until I thought my ribs might crack then we got back to making dinner together. It was right.

A fiery pink sky with streaks of gilded clouds painted the sky. Cool ocean breezes gently caressed my cheek in contrast to the warm summer air. Warmth filled my heart as I looked out over the retreating tide even though tears still fell silently down from my eyes. Over two years had passed since that day and it was past time for this farewell. I picked up my candle and turned to face the gathering.

Tonight is a night for healing. Not only for me, but for everyone who loved this humble kind paladin.

True to his calling, he was a protector and a hero. He was neither famous, nor flashy in his work, but when there was a wrong to be righted, he was there. When a friend needed help, he came, no matter the hour.

I remember when I met him so long ago. Always the hero, he literally swept me out of the mud and carried me away on his steed like a fairy tale hero. He won my heart months later with a shy laugh and the corniest pick up lines you ever heard as he helped me hunt the Carby ruby on a beach like this one. He made me laugh and I couldn't help but fall in love with his warmth and naked sincerity.

His death was tragic and too soon, though I doubt he regrets losing his life to save another if in the end we all must move on. It was just his way to protect. I hope he looks over us now with a pride and continues to watch over those he loves.

I looked back in the distance to the men I had seen earlier. I knew they were here because they still suspected my child Hope not only lived but was the child of a hume and a threat to their government. Because of them, I couldn't mention our child. It made my heart sad but I knew he would understand. I opened the paper I had written a poem on and read.

Death by Khalil Gibran

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

And he said: You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

I knelt down at the end of the long pier and kissed the little wax boat in my hands. "Love, I will hold you in my heart until we meet again and I can hold you in my arms once more."

Setting the floating candle into the retreating tide I watched it drift away for a moment before standing and walking back to the beach. Everyone had a chance to say a last goodbye and let their candle go until the darkening sea was filled with beautiful bobbing white lights. I didn't stay on the pier to listen to the private farewells.

I went to Gurok instead, to dry my tears on his good white shirt. I noticed that even to a funeral, his weapons where strapped across his back and I was glad that he was ever ready.

He just smiled his encouragement and held me firmly. "This is a healing moment for everyone. I'm proud of you my brave little Elvaan."

I couldn't fathom what it must be like for him to be here for this turning point in my life. I couldn't wrap my mind around how he must feel to be here and reminded that I had loved someone before him so fully, yet my adoration for Gurok still filled my heart so abundantly that it felt like it might burst. I was just grateful that my giant wall of a galka could be here with me with such grace and understanding. I needed Gurok. Even if I never touched another shinny for the rest of my life, I would feel wealthier than a queen for being loved by him.

Just an Idea

"I love them." I whispered to myself as I admired my reflection. The emerald and diamond headband looked amazing crowning my fiery red hair. Every delicate detail in the metal work was absolutely stunning.

"Planning on keeping that?"

I had heard Gurok come into my house, but I had a hard time breaking the trance of beautiful shinny things. "It loves me back." I grinned.

"I think those gems are corrupting your brain." He jested. He presented a plate of cookies and I picked one up for immediate gobbling.

Chewing while I hugged him, I was on a trio of perfection high. I was wearing pretty shinnies, eating cookies and holding the man I adored all at once. I knew at that moment, life couldn't get any better than that and I didn't want to let him go. "I like you."

He smiled. "I like you too. I'm curious about this pretty emerald thing you're wearing. Business or pleasure?"

"I was commissioned to borrow it from someone who has been dead for one hundred and fifty years and doesn't seem to be able to show it the appreciation it deserves. I'm really torn though. I love it. I'm wondering how angry that crazy old trader will be if I wear it instead. He wants it for his young new fiancé, but it looks so much better on me. What kind of young bride wants to wear a dead woman's jewels? I bet I can talk him into something new and custom made right?"

"I think you're too lovely for your own good without any help at all."

I laughed and kissed him quickly. "That's not what I asked. I'll give it to him though. He does fund a lot of my business and he's much more pleasant to deal with than most. I guess it would be a shame to make him an enemy. I always could steal it back without him knowing if I just couldn't get it out of my mind." It was hard work trying to convince myself.

I took the lovely from my head and admired it once more before putting it back in my bag for delivery. I knew I would play with it again before I gave it to him and I still wasn't completely sure I would be able to hand it over. I was so weak for beautiful jewelry, but I also loved money and he was going to pay me a lot of it for finding the headband.

He scooped me up into his arms and I giggled in delight. "Want to hear what I've been thinking about?" He asked.

"Yes!" I loudly declared with a smile, still high on my trio perfecta.

 

 

"Did you even hear what I said?"

I'm not sure that I had. My head was spinning. Gurok looked a bit cross to put it mildly, but he kept still while I sat on his lap and waited as patiently as he could for me. He had been going on for awhile now and I'm not even sure I blinked yet. Blinking extra to make up for it, I stared at his big hand over mine. "So, you want to marry me?" I summed up.

"Well yes, that's what I've been saying for the last thirty minutes to eternity." He said as his brushed fingers through my hair. "You act like you don't think it's a good idea, but it makes perfect sense. You and I are good together. Don't you feel the same way?"

"You are the first thing I look for when I wake up and the one thing that keeps me awake longer at night for fear of missing you." I said almost mechanically as I studied every detail of his fingers. It was so honestly true.

Gurok chuckled. "You have a very charming way with words. Does that mean you agree with me?"

"That we should get married?" I repeated as if somehow we might have switched subjects without my noticing. I felt dizzier for some reason and my body felt so heavy. I had to lean against his warm chest.

"Yes…" he drew out. "Do you need me to repeat my speech again? You know how I feel about repeating myself but I realize this is a big deal. I admit, I'm a little discouraged that you're not shouting it from the tree tops."

I felt panicked and looked up at him with big pleading eyes, "Give me two days and ask me again? This is not the kind of decision I want to make without thinking it through." I was terrified that he would think that I didn't love him. This wasn't about that.

"The idea had really never crossed your mind?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well, no. I just kissed you last week. I hadn't planned the rest of my life part yet. You're so right; I love you. I just want this to be one of the steps in life I thought through first. This needs to be a rare completely responsible moment."

"We've know each other for a very long time and we've always been close. This is something that has grown for more than one week." He paused a moment. "Hm… well, Ok. I'll give you two days to feel responsible and I won't bring up marriage again until then. Then, if you'll meet me in Ru'Lude Gardens, I'll run the idea by you one more time for an official answer. That sound ok for you?"

Relaxing a little with a smile, I kissed him. "Thank you. I'm sorry I'm full of crazy sometimes."

"I'm used to it." He kissed me back even though I could tell he wasn't as happy as he should have been after bring up marriage and I was full of guilt.

He held me quietly until he had to leave for some auction house obligation. I knew he was disappointed in me and it broke my heart. While he was much less showy about it, he liked having his way just as much as I did.

Why was I panicking? This wouldn't be the first time I had married. I let out a huge sigh and curled up on my bed as I started to put the pieces of my mind back together.

My first marriage had been the best time of my life and yet had ended suddenly in murder and devastation. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but picture Gurok in that same position, married to me only to be torn gruesomely away much too far from old age.

Ofcourse, that was crazy and the logical part of my mind knew it. All I had to do was calm my heart. I wasn't cursed was I? There was no reason to think that I was some kind of black widow that brought death to the men I loved.

I was going to need my friends.

 

 

Target Practice

I spotted Gurok from across the square. He was sitting against his favorite wall with his thick galka legs folded in front of him and his head resting back. His eyes where closed but he didn’t look asleep. He rested alert like this often when he was waiting for his group of friends to gather for an all night expedition. The familiarity made me smile.

I glided up to him quietly and slipped into his lap. “Hello Alison.” He said as he put one arm around me and pinned me against his armored chest without lifting his head or opening his eyes. “What kind of trouble are you going to try to talk me into today?”

“Nothing.” I replied with mock offense. “How did you know it was me?”

“No tail.” He said with a mischievous grin.

With that I hit him, though I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like I had made any claim on him. If he had other women on his lap with tails, why did I have any right to be upset about it? My body stiffened and I suddenly felt the need to run hard in any direction, but his arm holding me down was enough to stop me.

He opened his eyes and looked at me as if he suspected what was on my mind, though he didn’t say and I was sure I expected too much of him to think he could know about my inner struggles. One callus finger softly pushed my disheveled bangs away from my face. “Anything you wanted to tell me then?” he asked as his eyes studied my face.

“You smell like burnt charcoal, leather and iron.” I said sharply as if I intended it to be an insult.

“I’m glad you like it.” He replied with a knowing grin. “Did you come all the way from San ‘D Oria to tell me that?”

“No, I just…” I hesitated, afraid to tell the guilty truth, “I just missed you.” I relaxed and leaned against him feeling his usual furnace like heat radiating hot on my cheek.

“I just left you this morning.” He chuckled softly and rested his cheek on the top of my head briefly. “It’s nice to see you too. I have awhile before I need to meet up with my group. I can help you practice your marksmanship.”

I nodded, relieved to have something to do and he stood up letting me fall from his lap to the ground, leaving me to get my feet under me quickly enough to avoid landing on the ground in a very unladylike pile. I resisted the urge to stab him and shoved him playfully instead as I followed him to the outer gate.

Once outside I pointed at an old watch house. “That will do fine. I’ll go scratch a target on the back side.”

“You need practice hitting something that moves.” Gurok frowned. “You’re already experienced enough at hitting walls.”

The idea that he was talking about more than arrows tickled the back of my mind, but I let that thought go. “So what would you suggest? I can only get one or two shots each on living targets before they get to me and I have to finish it close combat.”

“You have me.” He smiled. “I’ll hold their attention on me, while you TRY to hit it. The only thing I ask is that you focus enough that you do NOT hit me or I cannot be held accountable for any loss of temper.”

I shifted uneasily at the thought of his temper. I had seen it lash out on many occasions but he never directed to towards me even if it meant someone else would pay. Only recently had I witnessed what he was capable of when Kallo became the focus of revenge. My heart hurt to think of hitting him with my crossbow bolt. “It sounds too risky. You have to work tonight.”

“You worry too much. That crease in your forehead is going to become permanent if you don’t learn to relax. Try to be a little more focused and your aim might improve.”

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head. “Ok, your thick hide on the line. I’ll just hope the air stays still and you don’t move around too much and I don’t get distracted...”

With that he lumbered out towards a green eyed dragonfly with a six foot wing span resting nearby. With one swat of his great hand the fly was up in the air and looking furious.

I held up my loaded crossbow and took a shot that zipped just over the top of the fly’s back, not even catching its attention. Gurok raised an eyebrow at me and said plenty with his eyes. I reloaded and took at deep breath. Steadying myself and clearing my mind of worries, I took slow careful aim and squeezed the trigger. This time I hit my mark and Gurok quickly slapped the bug with his sword to keep it from flying after me. “Again!” he shouted.

I smiled with pride and reloaded. I hit my mark a dozen or more times only missing three. Not perfect, but an improvement on my previous and embarrassing rate.

Things were going pretty well and I was starting to think Gurok might be a genius for thinking of this new training technique when something hit me hard between the shoulders. My hand was on the trigger, just taking a shot when it happened and a bolt flew wildly through the air striking Gurok’s thigh just at a seam in his armor and biting into his muscle.

My vision blurred with panic. I turned and stabbed the fly that had rammed me until it was down and at least on the way to dying before running to Gurok who was finishing off the fly he had been holding for me.

“Ouch!” he shouted and sat down to pull the bloody bolt out of his leg angrily and threw it against a tree splintering the bolt in half.

I was to him and on the ground beside him as fast as my guilt driven legs could carry me. Unbuckling his leg armor I kissed the bloody wound and searched my bag franticly for a potion to pour into the hole.

He smiled at me with raised eyebrows and wiped his blood off my lips with his gloved finger. “You know this is not a big injury for me. I’ve had much worse. You can calm down.”

“I’m sorry.” I begged as I finally found the healing potion I was looking for and poured it slowly into the bolt wound. He gritted his teeth together quietly, his neck tightening as he waited out the pain of healing that was often worse than the original injury.

I rested my head down on his newly healed thigh and stared at the small silvery scar that I knew was small enough to disappear in a few months. I touched it and thought about how many hits we had both taken and survived together. He was my life boat in a world that haunted me with nightmares of black waters and death and I needed him desperately. I wouldn’t forget that not so long ago I nearly lost him when he nearly slid off a cliff into dark rocky ocean below. It horrified me to think that I could have lost him too.

He watched me trace my fingers over his scars and he took off his glove to pull my hair tie loose. Running his fingers through my red hair he pushed it out of the way to stroke my face. “You don’t have to act like you’ve killed me. In fact your fingers are getting my attention far more than a single arrow shot.”

My head shot up and I blushed and looked away from him. “I’m sorry.” I muttered.

Cupping my jaw in his massive hand he turned my face back to his and studied my face. I struggled to get air into my lungs as I tingled at his touch. It was hard to push aside my feelings for him when he looked into my soul like that and it was impossible to suppress my embarrassing blush.

When I thought I would faint from the effort of breathing, he leaned down and kissed me lightly. So long I had denied wanting this that when he finally broke the dam, there was no going back. My head spun dizzily and I kissed him hungrily letting my feelings flow from heart to lips. My fingers searched his armor for his warm skin and settled on the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

I could hear voices calling distantly but they didn’t register through my ecstatic mind. Gurok shifted his massive body to reach down and pull out his linkpearl, tossing it into the brush.

It then registered in my mind who I was hearing. I pulled back and laughed still drunk with affection. “Your dynamis party is calling you aren’t they?”

“I’m not available.” he grinned as he trapped me in his massive galka arms and kissed me.

I giggled in delight as my kisses turned playful. “Yes you are. I know how important you are to them on this mission.” I nuzzled his face affectionately and tried to let our heart beats calm as I let what was happening sink in. I already knew I loved him, but wise or not, it was no longer my secret.

“This is how we are meant to be.” He said passionately as he stared into my eyes as if he were afraid I wouldn’t hear him. “You and I just make good sense.”

I glowed happily at his effort to say he loved me and kissed his neck tenderly as I clung to him. “I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done with dynamis.” I whispered. What I really meant was I would watch the whole thing from a safe spying distance and then rush back to meet him before he knew how crazy about him I really was and how little tolerance I had for being apart from him. It would be hard for me to fight my tendency to protect myself including my heart.

Grinning, he lifted me into his arms and carried me a few steps toward the city before letting me down to my feet. I giggled softly in delight and wrapped my fingers around his hand letting myself sponge in all this happiness hoping this was the start of a lifelong love story and not my silly heart getting me into more trouble.

I sat with him near the residential area in San D’ Oria while Gurok’s group gathered and organized into teams to go into dynamis. I smiled and chatted politely with the group while trying to stay out of the way, though I was completely distracted by my fluttering chest and tingling lips after the kiss I had just recieved. I loved dynamis, but I was loyal to Digital Back Spin, my own mission team and wouldn’t be fighting with Gurok tonight.

I let them all enter and wished them luck and then with the skills that earned me the title of thief, I snuck in after them. I loved to watch him in action. All the shield bashing and grunting as he welded that enormous sword made me giggle like a silly teen. Protecting his allies was his main job tonight, and he was doing it beautifully. I was so proud of him.

He would have been furious if he knew I followed him in there. It was dangerous enough in a group, let alone sneaking in alone when no one knew I was there. I wondered if he suspected that I shadowed him as much as I did after I caught him tossing Kallo over a cliff with bags of gold coins tied to his ankles. Such a waste of gold and a skilled even if misguided fellow thief. Could he have been saved? I wondered.

I had already spent a good enough time justifying Kallo’s death, but it still troubled me that my beloved paladin had ended him in such a dark though poetic manner. Kallo had turned me over to evil men just for the meager reward after I thought we had become friends. Even though he knew it was an innocent unborn baby they really wanted he didn’t seem to care. But, I wondered if the greater casualty was the dark spot burned on my white knight’s heart. I hurt for the bad things my best friend felt had to do keep me safe. Maybe my heart was more that of a white mage than a thief ever since I became a mother. Maybe I was just going dangerously soft.

I lay flat and still on a roof as I watched them work their way around to the last attack of the night. It was dark and the tiles where cool on my skin. The sky was clear letting the stars the countless stars light the sky with the big blue moon. I breathed in the crisp evening air and felt pretty darn good. They had already cleared every threat from the area but the last one and it was safe for me to come down whenever I wanted. If it was any other area, I would have been tempted to sleep there under the stairs all night, but I needed to get out of there and meet Gurok like I promised before he knew where I had spent the evening.

Dancing through the shadows, I made my way back home, washed the day off and dressed for night. I was just tying my red hair up when I heard heavy paladin boots coming up to my door. Before he could touch the door I had opened it and leapt on him throwing my arms around his neck. Catching me with a chuckle he held me up. “Did you eat ALL the cookies? You’re full of spring.”

“I did save one for you.” I smiled and kissed his white cheek, watching for any sign that he regretted kissing me earlier.

“Really?” he looked surprised and it made me smile that he realized how rare it was for me to have the self control to save a cookie.

“Yes, and if you would like to wash the spatters off first, Moogle helped me make a dinner fit for a famished white knight after a long night of battling.” It had been all Moogle’s cooking, but I didn’t want him to wonder what I had really been up to all night while I waited for him. I loved how natural all of this felt.

“Yes Mam.” He said with a grin that told me he was up to something and he bowed and disappeared to wash up for dinner.

I breathed in the smell of hot bread, a galka proportioned roast and my favorite sautéed carrots and felt like I had died and gone to heaven as I listened to my best friend humming as he splashed around in the next room.

As soon as the thought of heaven crossed my mind, I stiffened as my heart jumped with painful guilt. How could I love him when I had already loved and lost the love of my life? It felt like I was betraying Brodie even though he had been murdered and was gone to me in this life. It seemed like it had happened an eternity ago and yesterday all at the same time.

My mind was wiped clean with a new focus when I smelled the steam and soap as he opened the door and came out for dinner still slightly damp and barefooted wearing only his in town slacks. I thought he looked like a great furry white angel with a thick galka tail. How could I worry when he was here with me sharing a hot meal with bare toes and happy hearts? I was so impossibly twiterpaited.

Where One Road Ends

This post was written by Gurok the Paladin. He told me that these characters are not ready for a retirement killing flies, so he has written this chapter to inspire more. Thank you Guork for writing some more fun for them and for being patient through my editing process of mailing this back and forth for tweaks for over a week. I hope you enjoy it.
________________

Alison meant the world to me and to be honest, I was never completely sure why. Her thieving nature constantly put us in danger, she tested my patience on a daily basis and she was dodgier in her relationships then her career. Yet when this… thing betrayed her and her unborn child it made me realize how much I cared for her, how much excitement she brought to my life and how much I appreciated it.

I swore that I would make sure both she and Hope were safe first, which I did. Then I started going about finding the miserable wretch. To his credit, he is a damn good thief and can stay invisible with the best of them. Unfortunately for him, to MY credit I have built a network of incredibly loyal and interesting friends with plenty of shadowy qualities of their own.

Konamy, a Mithra thief, was the one who gave me the idea one day while discussing my dilemma. “Gurok you made Alison a promise you wouldn’t go looking for him and you always keep your word!” she said to me with a sly look on her feline face I didn’t notice at first.

“I know Konamy, but the fact remains I gave my word to myself that I would go find him and make him pay for what he did.” I looked up at her to see a huge grin and almost lost my temper, but she cut me off.
“I never gave my word… Dkrchris said nothing of the sort. Matter of fact none of our Linkshell did, as I am sure most of your other friends didn’t. So, it seems to me that if we were to… stumble… across him and tell you then you could keep both your promises.”

I jumped up quickly, fast enough to make her flinch reflexively, and I gave her a big Galkan hug. “You are the best, get the ball of yarn rolling and keep me informed.”

It took all my will not to seem too hopeful around Alison and give it all away. I worried that the few times I did actually smile, she would see right through it and know I was up to something. The mental weight of her problems kept the chances down to a minimum. Even though she seemed very comfortable around me of late, there were times she drifted off into her own private hell.

It was Zerokb that caught wind of him first. “Hey G, Kallo just walked into San D’ Oria’s auction house, then he got on the airship headed for Jeuno. By the way, you know Ali will kill you and anyone that helped you if she finds out about this, right?”

“Then keep quiet.” I grumbled. Great guy, but he worried too much about upsetting women. Then again, they had peculiar habits of hurting him because of it. I chuckled to myself as I pondered blaming all this on him if we got caught, just to watch the fireworks.

Konamy and Dkrchris were already fishing at the docks when the thief arrived. She was complaining to Dkr that his Dark Knight armor was scaring all the fish away. Kallo glanced at them for a second and quickly made his way into Port Jeuno. Konamy kissed Dkr and followed Kallo stealthily as she could.

Alison and I were riding across Konschtat Highlands heading to my home in Bastok when I got the call from Konamy. “Hey Gurok, I have some good news. This guy is in Upper Jueno is doing business with an Elvaan that works at the bar. He is going to be here until tomorrow then their deal is complete and he is leaving to, I don’t know where. They are meeting at 3pm.”

“Keep an eye on him. Tell me if anything changes. I will be there tomorrow. I need a sometime to pick up a few things and arrange a good excuse for me to leave Alison for a few hours.”

I immediately got off with her and connected with Bob, another Galka Paladin. “Hey Bob are you still interested in that beautiful set of dark blue armor I have?”
“Why yes I am sir. Perfect timing, now I can actually use it.” “Good. Meet me in Lower Jeuno by the auction house tomorrow at noon. How much do you want for the full set?”

“It’s free, I just need a favor, tell you more tomorrow.”

Alison was watching me carefully when I disconnected. “Who was that?” she said with a suspicious smile.

“Well, if you must know, it was another woman. She is a sexy remarkable thief and she wants to have a clandestine meeting with me as soon as I can lose you.”
Alison gave a small chuckle “Ok, tell Kona I said hello when you see her next.”
I sighed and pretended to sulk a bit. “Is it so hard to believe someone else would want to spend time with me?”

This seemed to make her smile more. “No, silly, it’s hard to believe you’d want to spend time with anyone else besides me.”

That made me laugh and I let it go at that. In my moghouse we had a nice dinner and sat down by the fire listening to music and watching my fish swim around in their new tank for a bit before she spoke.

“You have something on your mind Sweetie. Feel free to tell me anytime.”

I grinned. “It was the call I got before. Dkr and Kona want me to come tank a behemoth tomorrow out in Quifim Island. Apparently their Ninja friend suddenly feels… ill. They know I need an item from its corpse to complete my Black Belt training as a Monk.”

I had been training as a Monk on the side for quite some time now. I liked the freedom of movement and focus it gave me when I wasn’t tanking. “Bob also called me and offered to buy my old set of tanking gear in Jeuno tomorrow, so maybe this was meant to be.” I frowned.

“Do you want me to come cheer you on?”

She is a sly one, I thought to myself “Well I would normally insist on not having you out of my sight, you know that, but unless you are in the group right behind me I won’t be able to focus on that behemoth. With everything that has happened I cannot help but worry and I’d like to be at my best.”

She gave me one of her beautiful smiles that made her seem like she never knew what it was like to even be upset and replied “Well then if I MUST stay here and relax all day then I insist I get a gift. Something shiny would be great!”

I leaned in close as I could and whispered “You are being too nice. I would never make you choose between shinnies and food. I will bring you some wonderful fresh baked cookies from the specialty shop in Jeuno as well as a surprise.”

She squealed and popped into my arms to hug me around my neck. “You spoil me as much as I deserve.” I gave her one of my annoyed that doesn’t make sense looks then busted out laughing.

The next morning I made her muffins with chocolate chips for Moogle to give her when she awoke. I grabbed all my gear and triple checked the rope, chains and bags of gil I was going to need. I was on the airship, eyes closed and concentrating on the wind blowing through my fur when I got the call from Konamy.

“Gurok I am sooo sorry! I don’t know how he knew! I tried my best really I swear!”
I tensed “Calm down! Speak plainly please… what happened?”

I heard her take a deep breath. “I was following him this morning to make sure he didn’t go anywhere else. He went to the tenshodo and I stayed outside to wait for him. I got distracted by… by… this beautiful silver music globe. It was gorgeous with gold accents and stained glass and…"

“Kona focus please, on KALLO.”

“He is gone Gurok. I lost him. I went back to where he was staying and it’s all cleaned out. He must have realized I was following him. Oh wait, the bartender at the bar is coming towards me. I paid him to keep me informed. Hold on.”

I gritted my teeth together and reminded myself that these people were my friends and they were offering their help to me unconditionally. This was all wrong. It was going to be perfect and now it was turning into a mess.

Konamy popped back into my ear. “Gurok, he is headed out into Jugner Forest. I am going out after him. Maybe Dkr and I can pick him back up again. I am sorry.”

Her pain was clear, my silence was causing it, so I spoke. “Its fine Kona, we have all the time in the world to do this. I am sure you’ll find him and thank you for all of this.”

Her voice perked up, “You got it Gurok!”

When I walked into Lower jeuno I caught Bob traveling through on his way to the auction house. “Hello sir. Good afternoon to you.”

“Pffff. Not entirely Bob, not entirely.”

“What’s up?”

We sat down on the steps and I explained almost everything to him while I gave him the armor set. We sat in silence for awhile before he spoke. “If anyone is going to get this guy it’ll be you. For as long as I’ve known you, you never let anything escape you. From mobs, to goals, to Alison herself, mind you she is the most complicated problem of all.”

Bob and Ali didn’t get along very well. They had a hate/hate relationship. His loyalty to me though was the only reason he was bothering to involve himself at all. “Come with me” I said. “I have to get a few things for Alison so she doesn’t suspect anything.”

We had gotten the gourmet cookies, an aquamarine and some gold ore I was fashioning into a pendant while I waited for her bouquet to be arranged. I was sitting outside the florist when I looked up and froze. Across from me was the bar Konamy had spoken of. There was Kallo and he was shaking hands with the bartender who let him in and put out his closed sign. Suddenly it all made sense. My day was looking up, it was time…

I grabbed Bob from buying some new fishing rig. The guy was always fishing. “Put my armor on now! Not the purple set, MY set. You are about to do that favor.”

He eyed me suspiciously. “How?” he said with more than the usual amount of caution in his voice.

“Kallo is here, now, at the bar. The bartender is working with him and misled Kona. I am going to need your help to pull this off.”

We went around back and dragged several heavy barrels against the back door. I took a good look at him in my armor. With my helmet on, he easily passed for me as long as he didn’t speak. As I put on the blue set I spoke quickly. “Don’t say anything to him. He’ll expect me to be enraged. Break anything you want in there, including anyone that helps him, but don’t you DARE kill him or underestimate him… Watch your back, he IS a thief.”

Bob just grinned. He kicked the door so hard the framework shattered and the door took out the first table and chairs.

I quickly darted around back and got into position by the back shuttered window. When I heard the thump of the door against the barrels, I knew it was working. In a graceful arc, Kallo tumbled through the shutters onto the ground like a cat coming to his feet… when my shield caught this particular “cat” in the face.

The force combined with his momentum threw him off his feet and into the wall. The back of his head hit the wall and I hit his face again with my shield twice. As soon as I was sure he was out cold, I searched him to remove his lock picks and his blades. I bound him in rope threw him over my shoulder.

As more crashes came from inside the bar, I tried to get to Bob on my linkpearl. “Got him. Meet me at North Qufim cliffs as soon as you can.”

My heart was pounding, my mind racing. Was I really going to do this? It was working smoother then I had possibly hoped for now that it was all in motion. I expected to feel… haunted, but I did not. Instead, I felt a hunger, a primal drive to see this through.

Bob must have taken some time to relish in his fight because by the time he found me in Qufim, I had already gagged Kallo and bound him in chains. I was staring out at the cold raging water slamming into the jagged cliffs several hundred feet below when Bob spoke. “It sucks to be him.”

“You did great today. Thank you for your help. Give me back my armor and this set is now yours. Say nothing to anyone about this… ever.”

After we were both back in our gear he turned to me with his fist on his chest. “From our heart to our shield, it’s what makes us good at what we do.” He turned and left.

I don’t know how long I stood there waiting for him to wake up, but my thoughts were on Alison. I felt bad hiding anything from her. All I had ever wanted to do since I met her was be there for her and that meant honesty, but I wondered what she would think of me for how I went about this. I didn’t give this garbage a fighting chance. I set him up and took advantage of his nature… which was exactly what he had done to her. I only hoped she would see that and know I was still trustworthy.

I saw his eyes open and with admirable reflexes he instinctively went to reach for his blades and spring up but they weren’t there. When it soaked in he was bound and bound tightly his eyes filled with rage and locked onto mine. I stared back calmly and knelt down next to him. “I could have killed you at any point, but death wasn’t my true desire here. I want you to know a few things before you go away on your next journey. First, although I may be a Paladin, I warned you never to hurt Alison and that nothing would stop me from killing you if you ever really did. So, I needed you to know it was me that tracked you, tricked you and caught you.”

He subtly tried to find his picks. I stared plainly and held them up for him to see, his eyes showed a flicker of panic. “Second, your own arrogant loner nature is what makes this so simple. No one will be looking for you, they will think you slipped out the back and disappeared like the rat you are.”

Now he started to openly struggle against the rope and chains so I put my hand on his chest to hold him still. “Last thing and we are done. I won’t keep you waiting any longer. It’s a few hundred feet to the water and rocks below, so you’ll have time to think about this. It was gil that you turned her and her unborn child in for, so if you want it that badly, I will send you off with all I have. There is over 5,000 gil in those bags chained to your feet and it’s all yours.”

I stood up and kicked one of the three bags of gil over the edge. The shift of weight brought on fresh screaming through his gag. I was about to kick the second bag over when I heard her voice.

“Gurok!” She was standing about 15 feet away looking confused and uncertain at what she was seeing.

“Alison, why couldn’t you stay back at my home?” I closed my eyes as I spoke; I couldn’t bear to look at her.

“I think I can ask you the same question. Is that Kallo?”

“Yes, I can explain things a bit if you are willing to listen, but I have to do this first.” I kicked the second bag, but he must have gotten his hand loose while I had my eyes closed because it had enough slack to grab my ankle as the bag went over.
He slid, I slid… the third bag went over and I grabbed a large rock, but with hardly any grip.

Alison crossed the distance in a blink. She spoke with anger, but to Kallo not me. “You have taken enough from me!“ She slammed her dagger into his wrist causing him to let go and slip over. A scream quickly lost over the roar of the crashing water so far below.

She hugged me and I put my arm around her. “I am sorry I lied to you but I didn’t intend for you to be part of this Ali. You have seen enough death and loss, but even as I did this to protect you I come out owing you my life.”

She buried her face against my chest, shaking it back and forth. “Shush.” She begged. “I understand… just... shush.”

I waited in silence for her reaction, afraid of what my broken promise would mean to her.

When she finally looked up at my face, it was full of an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. “Never do that again.” Now here she looked angry and stepped back shoving against my chest and then pounding me with her fists when I didn’t move. She gasped to hold back tears and threw her arms around me. “You know I hate cold water. I would have frizzed my hair jumping in to save your furry hide.”

“The rocks would have done more damage to your hair than the cold water.” A glance into her eyes let me know that humor wasn’t my best route here. “Cookies?” I asked as I held her tightly, hoping to distract her by holding up the bag I had gotten her from the specialty shop. Usually an easy thing to do, but anger could improve her determination.

She nodded without looking up. “Yes, cookies.” Taking the bag she paused and glared up at me. “I will NOT lose you to the sea. Never scare me like that again!”
“Promise.” I said, ignoring the dark thought that flickered in my mind, wondering if I would be able to keep that promise.

I held up the aquamarine necklace I had made her. “Something shiny.” She said as she looked away from the edge of the cliff. “I’m not sure how I feel about that yet…” nodding back towards the drag marks in the dirt and stone “,but this is nice. Thank you Sweetie.” She smiled warmly at me as I put the necklace on her.

I nodded and moved her away from the cliffs. I would have to remember not to underestimate her curiosity again. I was confident I had done enough good things for her to outweigh any negativity she felt about this, especially after what he had done to her, but Alison was slow to change her feelings about things. As always I would wait patiently.

Dancing Edge

I looked over my shoulder at my friends and giggled despite myself. I needed to be stealthy as I hunted the dragonflies, but I was really having a good time. I had forgotten how much I loved working in a team with friends. The party was nearly finished killing the giant dragonfly they were attacking and I was already crouching in the brush eyeing my next prey. Our goal was to kill the seventy-pound insects as fast as we could without getting anyone seriously hurt, but I wanted them to feel pretty dang close to death. It made it more fun for me.

Even before the party's fly started to tremble and fall to the ground , my crossbow bolt was flying to another one. I missed. I squinted and rawred in frustration. A good marksman I am not. I just hoped no one had seen me miss; it was so embarrassing.

The bolt whooshed by the giant flying bug and it took notice. Buzzing furiously, it came after me and on long fast legs I sprinted back to the protection of my friends. Once I raced passed the paladin, I skipped back to the group and took my favorite place, right behind the wall that was Gurok.

"Oh come on!" the Jenjen complained, "Can't we at least catch our breath?" The group had not quite finished off the first fly and I had already brought them another. Jenjen jumped up and down on the first struggling fly and it took its last breath.

Gurok laughed. "She's having fun and we can handle it. No one has even hit the ground from blood loss yet."

I took notice of his "yet." I would have protested, but I could get carried away when I was in a good mood and sometimes people were... damaged before we finished. I glared at him anyways, as if he could feel it through the back of his head. He swished his tail at me playful as I stood behind him and tried to execute my sneak attack combos on the fly without being tripped.

Garness' wyvern Rover seemed to be having a good time too . He was breathing fire on the hopeless fly and toasting little holes in it's wings. In his zealousness, he also managed to singe Martin's arm. "Careful!" Martin hollered and whacked Rover across the rear with the flat of his broadsword. That did not make Rover happy. In a red whirlwind, Rover had attacked Martin and rolled him to the ground in a heap.

Garness wrapped his arms around his body and laughed a huge rolling galka belly laugh without offering Martin any help. "Rover doesn't like to be spanked."

The angry wyvern bit holes into Martin's heavy warrior armor and shook his lovely head enthusiastically as he growled. Letting Martin go he glared and bore his teeth as if to warn him to keep his weapons to himself next time then flew back to Garness' side. Garness petted Rover's scaly head and the wyvern nuzzled his master’s hand affectionately in return.

Gurok was handling the brunt force of the fly's powerful attacks while half the party was distracted by Rover and Martin rolling around on the ground. His face was getting moist from the effort and I could tell he needed a hand. The fly was turning the tide of the battle and pushing Gurok back towards the tree-line. He could take a lot of hits but when he was armored up like a tank, he couldn't swing as hard to do a lot of damage. That was our job, if anyone was paying attention. "Not to rush you..." he complained.

Zerokb shared a little healing magic with Gurok with a quiet smile of amusement. I jumped up behind the fly and slashed it back and forth with gracefully lethal slices before killing it with one final powerful gouge up forcing the fly to give up the ghost. "Lovely." I complimented myself.

I didn't go for another victim quite yet. Instead, I flopped down in the grass nearby and rested my hands in my lap. After Rover and Martin's little wrestling match and killing a respectable number of dragonflies, I thought we could take a break to laugh and eat a snack. Gurok didn't look like he was ready to quit, but I was in charge of picking the fights today so he shook himself slightly to get his mind out of fight mode and smiled as he relaxed.

"I guess that means it's break time." Martin said as he jumped up in the air and fell onto a pile of leaves then pulled out a piece of jerky. Rover, still angry from earlier, stole Martin's jerky and flew off with it. Martin stood to his feet awkwardly in his heavy armor and chased the wyvern into the brush out of sight. We were rolling with laughter as we listened to the shouting and rawring not far away.

Wiping a happy tear from my eye, I hugged Jenjen. "I'm sorry." She looked confused. I pulled everyone else within reach towards me and tried to hug them all at once. "Oh," she said as she started to understand and hugged me back. She grinned. "You're you, and we love you and I'm glad you're feeling better today," she purred as she nuzzled.

Martin stumbled back looking a little singed and out of breath. "I missed something." he said flatly and looked disappointed. Then he grinned mischievously, ran, then jumped on top of the group hug nearly breaking my head with his big body. Gurok grabbed him by the back of his armor launched Martin out of the huddle. He got some impressive air before rolling to a stop on the ground "Ooowww..." he groaned as he laughed.

Rover flew back to Garness’ side looking very very proud of himself. I smiled as I looked around at my friends. Today was a good day.

(Thank you to Stephen for another educational editing session. You rock. Check out his blog at http://fourthdayuniverse.blogspot.com Oh and sorry this one took so long. My pc died and I had to wait for a new hard drive and motherboard to be installed. It was painful.)

Friendly Nudge

I was hypnotized by the motion of the water and the musical sound of the water drops falling from my finger tip into the dark reflective fountain. I was just daydreaming again. With my knees pulled up under my chin, I dipped my finger into the dark water and watched the rings ripple away from me making the reflection of the red moon dance and shimmer.

I imagined his face in the water staring back at me. I wondered where he was and what he was feeling. I hoped his spirit wasn't miserable like I had been lately. He always had a knack for remaining cheerful even when things looked grim. Could I love him as much as I thought I did or was it just the misery of having him ripped away from me that made me feel this way? It had been one year, four months and six days. Would I ever be able to let him go?

I was fine while I was desperately struggling to protect my daughter Hope from the politicians who feared her birth, but once things settled down and she seemed safe my emotions caught up with me and flooded my mind. The pressure was crushing me. The more my life stood still, the more my own thoughts and feelings seemed to cripple me. I knew I needed to do something but I just couldn't yet. I felt like I could sympathize with this frustrated fountain shut off for the night. What's the point without flowing and motion?

Leaning my forehead on my arm, I watched the tears roll off my nose and puddle on the stones. Then my hat flew off my head and an unseen attacker started beating me with it.

“Don’t be such a weak Elvaan fool! Pull it together. You’re embarrassing me just to see you embarrass yourself.”

I turned to see Foxx glaring at me with my hat in his hands. Throwing it at me in fury he asked, “What’s the matter with you? Have you no pride? Get up, form an experience party, and stop wallowing in self-pity when there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your legs aren't broken. Work them.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. He definitely caught me off guard, something I would have been humiliated about if he wasn’t him. He could sneak around anything undetected.

“I’m a woman. It’s my prerogative to be emotional if I please.” I said with a glare.

“Well it’s my prerogative to want to kill you for it.” He retorted with a bit of a snort.

“Look at you. You have good friends who love you, you’re a reasonably respectable thief when you’re not so distracted by your emotions and you have a long life ahead of you to try to make this perfect life you think you're entitled to. Be bold and stop being such a ninny.”

“What kind of man uses the word ninny?” I said with a grin.

With that he clutched his dagger and stabbed me in the leg. “Get up, get up, get up! It’s time for you to do something productive. This overindulgent self-pity is disgusting me.”

I yelped in pain and held my hand over the gushing wound. Pouring a potion over it healed the injury, with the temporary side effect of feeling like a hot iron poker was knitting the edges of my tissues back together. I suffered this kind of blow many times but the treatment still made me whimper a little. “Did you have to stab me?”

“Do you have to ask? Look at yourself. Stop asking stupid questions and go buy some arrows. Your marksmanship is shameful.” With that he bounded off in half-airborne taru strides without even looking back. There was a time I would have gotten up and followed my old trainer to battle to study his every technique, but not tonight.

I swirled my hand in the the pool and splashed away the glassy stillness. I would find my way in life. I just wouldn't be pushed into doing it any way but my way. Grinning, I played with the gold coin I had just lifted off Foxx. I was not as crippled and useless as he thought. I was still a master of distraction enough to steal from a infamous thief. There was hope for me yet and I could feel the gentle swish in me of the only constant in life, change. This time I welcomed it.


(Thank you Stephen for being my editor and teacher on this one through two versions. Check out his blog at http://fourthdayuniverse.blogspot.com )

Healing

With lightning speed, he instantly blinded my view of the goblin in front of me and with a thundering crack broke the goblin shield in half. Leaping just in time, I avoided being swiped over by his great white tail. I knew him well enough to know he had tried to trip me on purpose and he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't lose my balance that easily.

"Careful there Gurok; your tail is going to be the end of me." I growled as I pushed on him in protest without actually moving him an inch springing myself back instead.

"I'm pretty sure it's the end of me and if you prefer I could let them keep stabbing at you until you black out." He grumbled but defiantly not under his breath.

"I had it under control. I wanted the hate." I assured him. "I'm trying to improve my dodging skills."

At this he roared with laughter, pinning the gasping goblin under his foot while he doubled over to make all the more show of his amusement. I scowled. "You're dodgy enough already my dear." he said with a mischievous grin.

It had become a game or maybe a dance between us of playful fighting with a mockingly serious face. For months we had traveled like nomads together. I had become reclusive and he had become my great looming shadow. He would leave on occasion for the usual obligations of our modern day heroes during this time of unrest, but I didn't vanish from him as often as I did with some of the other people I loved lately. I'd wait patiently pretending not to wait at all, but be busy with my leather crafting hobby, or fishing or meditating or whatever struck my fancy that day.

I guess it was only a natural evolution of a rogue thief to keep to the shadows, watching the world around her, and waiting for her opportunities or desires to drive her out like a mouse to cheese ever cautious of the inevitable trap.

I smiled as I watched Gurok hang the goblin up in a tree by his belt. When he woke he would be in for a nasty surprise. I did pick this fight when I stole his coin purse, so this encounter wouldn't be fatal for him. I just wanted to hone my skills and keep my daggers lightning fast. I had become a little more sensitive about delving out death and Gurok indulged me quietly. It was an uncharacteristic move on his part that I took for affection and I wasnt about to ruin it by asking him about it.

"Enough exercise, time for lunch." Gurok chuckled as he started walking towards the lake. He was always in a good mood after battling any enemy he could find though he very much preferred the larger prey that could be made into lunch after.

I watched him walk away without following him. He was tall as any galka I had ever seen and that was saying something. His skin and hair matched in snow white softness and his head was covered in a thick soft mane that framed his huge wide thin lipped mouth. His eyes where blue and bright when he smiled and icy dark when his ungalka-like natural tendency to rage caught him. He was built like a wall, square shouldered and thick with muscle like all of his kind were. They moved slower but they never went unnoticed.

He didn't turn around to see if I would follow. I don't even know if he wanted me to but he knew I would. He drew me like a moth to a flame. I didn't know why, but maybe it was the way his huge frame could physically block out the world that made my spirit feel comfortable and safe. As powerful as I knew he could be, I never feared harm even when I knew I had excited his temper. Other things might be broken because of me, but he was my paladin and protector and would always keep me safe.

I don't know how I earned his loyalty, but in this time when a storm raged deep within me like a hurricane tearing and breaking my very soul I was grateful for a shelter.

He was laying down on the sandy shore of the large lake with his hands behind his head when I caught up. I sat down next to him under the tree and searched my bag for what I had packed this morning. "It's about time." he complained. "I'm starving."

I set out a few fruits and a crisp crusted half loaf of a dark bread. He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. "That's not food, that's what food eats." he said with a grin as if that were the first time he had said that to me. I reached in and pulled out a huge piece of cured meat that had weighted me down all morning. "Carrying this thing made for good strength training. I guess I can let you eat it." I chuckled.

We ate in silence, and I watched him in my usual creepy manor that didn't seem to bother him as I thought. I couldn't figure out why he followed me. I felt consumed in pain but I couldn't bare to let it out so I tried to hide it inside though I know it showed in my eyes at the least. I felt like an ogre was constantly standing on my chest, crushing my heart and forcing the pain to ooze out of every pore... not to be too over dramatic about it but it was what it was.

I tried to talk some sense into myself but I couldn't seem to shake it. My dreams woke me in cold sweats at the image of death and screaming. Images of past and feared futures haunted me in the day and night. I was losing my mind and I couldn't bare for those who I respected so much to see me like this so I hid.

Kjarbo was the one I felt the worst about avoiding. His heart was so kind and generous it pained him to see me hurt so badly that it just added to my pain to hurt him so I started slipping away from him more and more often until it had been over a month since I had come out of hiding to let him know I was ok. It was a cruel attempt at mercy that ended up just being selfishness. Still, though I told myself to stop and just calm down and let myself heal, somehow I couldn't. I was broken.

In Gurok though somehow I felt peace. He didn't try to fix me. He didn't want to talk it out, he was just here eating lunch with me and keeping me company while I obsessively practiced my skills and trained my body. It was peaceful.